By Anthony Dennis
EVERYONE it seems these days reckons they can run a hotel, and not just every anonymous correspondent on TripAdvisor.
Now Ikea, the self-assembly Swedish furniture brand that made the
Allen key one of the world’s most universal tools, has announced plans
to open 100 budget hotels across Europe.
Of
course, it’s not the first time that a major, non-traditional hotel
industry brand has diversified, sometimes unsuccessfully, in to
hospitality. Some of the most notable examples are airlines, such as the
Japan’s ANA and JAL and the Scandinavian carrier SAS.
Then there
are designer brands such as the Spanish shoe-maker, Camper and the
fashion designer, Versace, who operate hotels under their label names.
So, based on the above theory that anyone nowadays can establish and run
a hotel chain these days, here’s the Doc’s own take on potential
branding possibilities and scenarios.
A range of major brands have branched out into tthe hotel industry. Picture: Thinkstock
Ikea
Welcome to Hotel Ikea, where we keep
rates low by asking our guests to make their own bed. That’s right -
please take several minutes, or as long as you IQ demands, to carefully
read the instructions on how to self-assemble your bed, as well as side
tables, wardrobe, coffee table etc. Should you experience difficulties
with self-assembly please do not contact reception as we can never work
it out either.
Republic of EcuadorThe proud
peoples of Ecuador, and our newest citizen, Senor Julio Assange, hereby
invite you to enjoy your stay at Hotel Asylum (aka Hotel Last Resort).
You’ll be accommodated in the complete comfort of spare closets at our
embassy.
Twenty-four hour security is assured by the local police
force who are always just out the front door. Please note that while we
can get you in to Hotel Asylum, we can’t always necessarily get you out
and therefore check-out times and dates can vary significantly. Oh, and
apologies in advance, too for the shower – it tends to WikiLeak.
QantasWelcome
to Hotel Qantas. Please be aware that the management is currently
involved in an ongoing make-or-break industrial dispute with
housekeeping that may see you tossed out of your room in the middle of
the night, just as regrettably occurred to our airline passengers last
year (my, how time flies).
But please do be assured that you’re
the reason we run this hotel and that we plan to spend the next year,
and millions of dollars in marketing funds, sucking up to you to make
amends.
The Commonwealth of AustraliaOn the
behalf of the Commonwealth of Australia, and the Federal Opposition, we
welcome you to Resort Oz, Nauru and wish you a pleasant stay. Do accept
our apologies that accommodation at your preferred destination of
Australia was unavailable at the time of your arrival.
Please make
yourself comfortable in your new island budget resort suite and do
forgive the ongoing, urgent renovations. We’re sure that once you’re
settled in you’ll never want to leave. In fact, under any future Abbott
Government, you may never be allowed to leave. As for Nauru’s tourist
attractions please do alert staff at reception immediately should you
find one.
Telstra“This is the operator of
Hotel Telstra, bringing you the service you’ve come to love from our
telephonic division. So we can assist you with your call please say the
service you would like us to provide.” ROOM SERVICE. “You have selected
‘room service’. If correct say, ‘yes’…YES.
“So we can help provide you with your request
please say which type of room service you would like. Is that room
service, as in a drink delivered to your room, as in food delivered to
your room, as in a room service trolley collected from your room?” FOOD
DELIVERED TO MY ROOM.
“You have selected “food delivered to your
room.” If correct say, ‘yes.’ YES! “Please say what you want to order.”
CLUB SANDWICH! “You have selected ‘club sandwich’. If correct say,
‘yes’…” YES. “Thank you. So that we can assist with your call…” And so
on and so on.
news.com.au
*********
The
Australian article showing how diverse brands are becoming with ikea now
starting up a hotel chain, do you think people will be confused at this new
venture because they have already made it clear only the brand names will be
matching although surely the furniture will be ikea inspired. It makes it seem
like anybody can open up a hotel chain these days, I don’t believe that self-assembly of furniture will
be required however as most agree that the they should be a bit more atmosphere
as it is owned by one of the biggest retail chains. In my opinion it is a good
move for ikea as it has worked for other well known brands like Versace that
has a palazzo Versace in the gold coast obviously also showing how the brands
status changes status of the hotel the ikea hotels are good for a safe place to
stay and a good breakfast and the palazzo Versace is 5 star quality
accommodation.